STOP CARING ABOUT CARING WHEN I CARE
she gave him a gucci belt and wallet. and
he gave her the snuggie back that he stole.
11/12
inshallah
hello, how are you, god willing.
if i could meet up with a two-litre of orange soda,
maybe in uganda or the ivory coast, then i wouldn’t
feel so trapped inside this costco.
green frost fogs the freezer windows.
i’d say, “i’ve always wanted to come to the ivory coast!
i can’t wait to meet you!”
i’m talking to the orange soda.
i use the tip of my index finger to write “god will”
on the backside of the freezer door.
trust the engineers
you use pomegranate seeds as confetti
jjuuuuiiiicccyyyy
like my couture.
crushing chrysanthemums under the weight of
your entire body
we’ll use the stems to tie your limbs
behind your back and throw you in a lake,
a bouquet of daises strapped to your chest.
mowed down marigolds, shoved down your throat,
and gag.
“babe, how old is your dad??”
how to have sex 300 times
let’s make a list to comfort each other
caught you cataloging all your grief.
bookmarked pages kept it neat and clean
please, do not break this window,
i’m trying to overheat and die.
(my favorite music is playing!)
everything is changing
everything is getting worse.
i wanna be your younger sexy exotic cool wife
and i wear black fur coats and have a snake
tattoo on my leg
i’ll wear plum-stained lipstick
and when people ask me what i do for fun,
i’ll throw my head back and laugh maniacally.
“tomorrow my look is a bereaved mistress
showing up to the funeral against the wishes of the family.”
11/10
death is a beige mercedes sedan.
11/9
when i think about the black men in my life,
i think about
all the times i’ve ever been lied to
and i picture the teeth of our lost pitbull
and how she would’ve given anything to
pass through our house one last time.
you used to think the dew was glitter,
you still do. you’d cry when your dog ran through
all the tiny sparkles.
you still do.
@ people who order their burgers plain
after we all held each other and cried,
i called my mom and we cried
then i called benny and we cried.
things were finally going our way!
in fact, it was all going great! we had
a chance to live after all!
fast forward, we’re all fucked and
we’re gonna die!
you missed it. it was beautiful.
all the lights went out at once.
when they came back on
everything was gone.
then he showed up.
they were hoping he would.
thank you for being here.
you are the only one.
when it hits, i will be terrified forever.
when it hits, there will be no shelter.
11/13
you forget our spirits talk.
bliss or agony?
my heart is in my vagina.
no one makes it out
kiwi skins and
the unbearable heaviness of twenty.
what we do is bad and good and bad and
good and good and good.
have you ever taken a palette knife
with a speck of iridescent white and mixed it
with two parts of alizarin crimson and then
a dot of cadmium orange
with a brush of chrome yellow?
do you know what that’s like?
do you know what that makes?
do you know what that means?
i slip off my canvas sneakers and dip
my painted pinky toe
into a bowl of raw jasmine rice.
11/16
i’m literally bored to d*ath of myself and having a panic attack.
here’s simple,
here’s happy,
that’s what i meant to give to you.
i want to get my nails done.
”the feminine is not dead, nor is sleeping; angry, yes, seething, yes”
i lay on my back and look up at the ceiling,
and i realize that the leaves are changing
and i’m
i have to believe that.
even though nothing is linear, nothing is consecutive
and it’s all knots in a cord, messages in a code.
right now you’re making room for worlds to be born,
eager for a thousand universes to come true.
the form of things is breaking apart!!!
you can hear it!!! everybody else can too!!!
cool beans
embrace your ugliness!
cry in public!
have big big feelings!
be a mess!
paint fruit!
be safe!
it’s not funny,
what you’re saying isn’t funny.
on one hand,
who cares
on the other hand,
so what.
strange girls.
can they marry like other girls?
have children?
be happy as they are?
why?
were they born.
11/18
do you understand the roots of your own suffering?
do you have the capacity to help another person suffer less?
have you learned the way to calm down your painful feelings and emotions?
do you have time to listen to yourself and your deepest desires?
do you feel you have a clear spiritual path?
do you think that this person is happy?
do you have time for each other?
are you still in love?
he doesn’t think about you at all.
carry on with your work
you have things 2do.
11/14
*sniffling*
A cool red rose and a pink cut pink, a collapse and a sold hole, a little less hot.
don’t worry i’m going to fuck the shit out of you before you leave
yes, i’ll have a diet cock and
a hug(e dick).
if you took yourself seriously for two seconds
then you’d feel more comfortable subscribing
to the bisexual agenda™, but you continue to look for
BOYS BOYS BOYS!
COCK RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME
C.R.E.A.M.
"jesus will come before i do"
this is when you punch me in the face,
this is where you find out what disappointment tastes like,
this is what four years of pent-up frustration feels like.
you look like a princess, you’re so pretty
she gave him a gucci belt and wallet. and
he gave her the snuggie back that he stole.
11/12
inshallah
hello, how are you, god willing.
if i could meet up with a two-litre of orange soda,
maybe in uganda or the ivory coast, then i wouldn’t
feel so trapped inside this costco.
green frost fogs the freezer windows.
i’d say, “i’ve always wanted to come to the ivory coast!
i can’t wait to meet you!”
i’m talking to the orange soda.
i use the tip of my index finger to write “god will”
on the backside of the freezer door.
trust the engineers
you use pomegranate seeds as confetti
jjuuuuiiiicccyyyy
like my couture.
crushing chrysanthemums under the weight of
your entire body
we’ll use the stems to tie your limbs
behind your back and throw you in a lake,
a bouquet of daises strapped to your chest.
mowed down marigolds, shoved down your throat,
and gag.
“babe, how old is your dad??”
how to have sex 300 times
let’s make a list to comfort each other
reasons to cry:
1. tired
2. fat
3. too much work
1. tired
2. fat
3. too much work
caught you cataloging all your grief.
bookmarked pages kept it neat and clean
please, do not break this window,
i’m trying to overheat and die.
(my favorite music is playing!)
everything is changing
everything is getting worse.
things i cared about in ’07:
1. in rainbows - radiohead
2. graduation - kanye west
3. kala - m.i.a.
1. in rainbows - radiohead
2. graduation - kanye west
3. kala - m.i.a.
i wanna be your younger sexy exotic cool wife
and i wear black fur coats and have a snake
tattoo on my leg
i’ll wear plum-stained lipstick
and when people ask me what i do for fun,
i’ll throw my head back and laugh maniacally.
“tomorrow my look is a bereaved mistress
showing up to the funeral against the wishes of the family.”
11/10
death is a beige mercedes sedan.
11/9
when i think about the black men in my life,
i think about
all the times i’ve ever been lied to
and i picture the teeth of our lost pitbull
and how she would’ve given anything to
pass through our house one last time.
you used to think the dew was glitter,
you still do. you’d cry when your dog ran through
all the tiny sparkles.
you still do.
@ people who order their burgers plain
after we all held each other and cried,
i called my mom and we cried
then i called benny and we cried.
things were finally going our way!
in fact, it was all going great! we had
a chance to live after all!
fast forward, we’re all fucked and
we’re gonna die!
you missed it. it was beautiful.
all the lights went out at once.
when they came back on
everything was gone.
then he showed up.
they were hoping he would.
thank you for being here.
you are the only one.
when it hits, i will be terrified forever.
when it hits, there will be no shelter.
11/13
you forget our spirits talk.
bliss or agony?
my heart is in my vagina.
no one makes it out
kiwi skins and
the unbearable heaviness of twenty.
what we do is bad and good and bad and
good and good and good.
have you ever taken a palette knife
with a speck of iridescent white and mixed it
with two parts of alizarin crimson and then
a dot of cadmium orange
with a brush of chrome yellow?
do you know what that’s like?
do you know what that makes?
do you know what that means?
i slip off my canvas sneakers and dip
my painted pinky toe
into a bowl of raw jasmine rice.
11/16
i’m literally bored to d*ath of myself and having a panic attack.
here’s simple,
here’s happy,
that’s what i meant to give to you.
i want to get my nails done.
”the feminine is not dead, nor is sleeping; angry, yes, seething, yes”
i lay on my back and look up at the ceiling,
and i realize that the leaves are changing
and i’m
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
changing for the better
i have to believe that.
even though nothing is linear, nothing is consecutive
and it’s all knots in a cord, messages in a code.
right now you’re making room for worlds to be born,
eager for a thousand universes to come true.
the form of things is breaking apart!!!
you can hear it!!! everybody else can too!!!
cool beans
embrace your ugliness!
cry in public!
have big big feelings!
be a mess!
paint fruit!
be safe!
it’s not funny,
what you’re saying isn’t funny.
on one hand,
who cares
on the other hand,
so what.
strange girls.
can they marry like other girls?
have children?
be happy as they are?
why?
were they born.
11/18
do you understand the roots of your own suffering?
do you have the capacity to help another person suffer less?
have you learned the way to calm down your painful feelings and emotions?
do you have time to listen to yourself and your deepest desires?
do you feel you have a clear spiritual path?
do you think that this person is happy?
do you have time for each other?
are you still in love?
he doesn’t think about you at all.
carry on with your work
you have things 2do.
11/14
*sniffling*
A cool red rose and a pink cut pink, a collapse and a sold hole, a little less hot.
don’t worry i’m going to fuck the shit out of you before you leave
yes, i’ll have a diet cock and
a hug(e dick).
if you took yourself seriously for two seconds
then you’d feel more comfortable subscribing
to the bisexual agenda™, but you continue to look for
BOYS BOYS BOYS!
COCK RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME
C.R.E.A.M.
"jesus will come before i do"
this is when you punch me in the face,
this is where you find out what disappointment tastes like,
this is what four years of pent-up frustration feels like.
you look like a princess, you’re so pretty